I wrote on Twitter this morning that I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I meant it. The assault by illness on the body is cumulative. Aches and pains add up. Neuro dysfunction places stress on the body in predictable fashion. Lower back weakness brings on pain. Leg weakness strains joints. I don’t know. I made these up. This is not my choice of how to play doctor. I am not going to list my complaints. That would violate self-imposed rules.
Let’s just say, there is not a day when I feel good. I do not mean I am in pain all the time, only that discomfort is a constant companion. But it adds up. Throw in a healthy dose of fatigue, and, voila. A day here, a day there would be more tolerable than this fulltime job.
How do I get used to this? I don’t. I cannot. Anybody out there with MS or a host of other illnesses has to know exactly what I am writing about. I am reasonably certain this is a shared experience. I do not complain about it much. This discomfort is programmed into my life by now. I feel bad but hardly notice that I feel bad most days. Ask people living near an airport if they still hear the jets.
This just is who we are.