Bored

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. The more it changes, the more it stays the same. Ain’t it the truth? The more I focus on my physical problems, the clearer it becomes that little is changing, at least as I can see. Grass continues to grow, but it looks the same to me today, as I expect it will tomorrow. I am bored by my obsessiwith on my health.

Frequently I say the enemy in life is not conflict or disappointment but boredom. If you are bored in your relationships, it is time to do something about it. It’s only goingto get worse. My problem at the moment is a variation of that theme.

I am bored by MS. It is a nagging pain in thebutt, but that was true yesterday and I have no reason to expect the situation to change by tomorrow. Too much time is spent ruminating about possible outcomes. I have only so much psychic energy to pour downm the drain, and I am overspending, worrying about tomorrows. I am bored. Bored. And it is getting in the way of my day job. Worrying about everything else.

I read about possible breakthroughs on a number of disease fronts. Nothing buzzing about MS so far. That is OK. I do not take it personally. But thinking about it only makes me tired. And maybe a little agitated with myself. I can think of better things to fill my mind, like when is this horrible presidential election going to be over?

 

 

 

9 Responses to Bored

  1. Gala June 6, 2016 at 6:39 am #

    To give you a little “entertainment ” , I would recommend look at Google and Facebook for Dr. Kenner protocol. I did not start it yet, but thinking seriously about it. Some positive result reported, especially with fatigue and vision. Who knows!

  2. Gala June 6, 2016 at 6:40 am #

    Dr.Klenner. Sorry

  3. henriette June 6, 2016 at 5:46 pm #

    5 months from the day after tomorrow.
    glad you are back.

  4. Jan June 9, 2016 at 2:23 pm #

    Will say from experience that problems of any sort do tend to worsen if not dealt with in some manner. At this particular moment, most things that could go wrong, are. (But I should not really say that because tomorrow may bring even more and greater issues).

    Can’t say that I myself am bored; tired, perhaps. (Weary of health stuff, worsening health issues and pain, some relationships, the election…) I used to have more hope about many things. So that tells me that I need to hold firm to a good perspective and take things one day at a time and forge ahead. For others, and for myself, too.

  5. Jan June 9, 2016 at 4:07 pm #

    However, “boring” just may apply to the continual election drama. I still listen, but it is rather predictable.

  6. Jan June 9, 2016 at 8:34 pm #

    Richard, I reread your post. For me, “thinking” about MS always makes it worse; doing something — something — helps a great deal. Even saw those two thoughts in your post, as well.

  7. Louisa June 10, 2016 at 10:57 am #

    There is, actually, some buzz about HSCT. It’s a risky therapy but to me it seems worth it.

  8. Jan June 10, 2016 at 11:14 pm #

    Time for a 180 on a few things, whether by choice or not:

    * Okay, I likely am bored with all the health stuff;
    * I have MS (instead of working so hard to hide that which I no longer can);
    * I have a disability (goes hand-in-hand with my blue car placard, actually);
    * I will only skate again in my memories.

    Too many hassles from loved ones and other contacts; freedom in “what is, is.” It mostly stinks, but so does past shame, discrimination, and denial.

    So now what? Living life in a more real way. At year 11, yep, it right now is here to stay. But so what? It is what it is, and, while it has affected much (as in about everything), I am still who I am. And I’m finding a certain freedom, a confidence, in being real.

    I’ve got MS. — Okay, so what? Other people have stuff, too. It’s rather difficult; I do not aim to minimize that. It can be truly awful. But being real about it isn’t so awful, either. I used a cane in front of some work people. I no longer want to allow myself to feel “less than” regarding this issue.

  9. Sue in TX June 11, 2016 at 7:32 pm #

    I think I ruminate about my health in an attempt to fix it. Why else would I think and and think about and look up the placement of each lesion on my brain and how each one might be causing deficits. I get sucked into worry about this as if I could change it somehow. It’s directed focus on brain parts and functions and it distracts me, Distracts me from the bigger picture. I guess I must be bored by the bigger picture – How MS looms in my life. How it really impacts me does not require explanation from an article on the Internet. I am wasting my energy on this, as Richard says. I need to focus on living the best way I can. It’s just hard to be honest with myself. So very hard.