I have noted that the individuals who have said over the years that I cope with my various ailments very well are those who know me the least. How the hell do they know? These silly statements are goofy because the face the public sees never belongs to the one I see when I shave in the morning. I do not know what they are talking about. Nor do they.
According to the Free Dictionary (whatever that is), to cope means, “To contend with difficulties and act to overcome them.” Overcome? I don’t think so. Dictionary.com says it means to struggle or deal…with some degree of success. Really? And what does that mean?
How does any one of us grade himself or herself on the ability to cope? Hell. We need a standard set of criteria to figure that out. So what is the gold standard of coping? There is none, of course, and this seems like a waste of time. Maybe we need to determine how well we are doing for ourselves and leave it at that. As always, we need to stop listening to others and communicate with ourselves. Probably there is more all of us can do to cope. Only self-awareness will help us with that.
My definition of successful coping is to live as close to normally as is both possible and acceptable. I get to decide what works for me. You can do the same. I don’t know about you, but I am tuning people out. Why I listen in the first place is a mystery.
Richard on Twitter rmcjourneyman